Over the hill?!

Yesterday was my birthday!!! And I turned 24. That is old. It is crazy to me I can be that old. My mom was already done having kids by my age. I thought I would be done with college and have my life together by now. I definitely thought I would be dating the guy I would soon marry. Yeah, life had other plans. But I'm not unhappy at where I'm at. Everything has led me to here and I think I'm figuring out things everyday. I feel blessed that I have the opportunity and support to be able to "find" myself. At times, it's hard. People don't always understand me or why I'm not just taking the normal path. I am not a typical person. .I do things my own way. I don't think I'm made for a normal everyday life. Regardless life doesn't come with a manual. I try to take everything as a learning experience. Having regrets gets you nowhere. At least if you learn something from a bad choice or situation, it wasn't for nothing.

Growing up is terrifying and horrible and times. As Taylor Swift got spot on in her song "22"

"We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical"

Exactly.

We wish our youth away, not appreciating it. Not realizing it will be over before we know it. Not knowing that being an adult isn't as fun as it looks. It's actually not fun at all, sometimes. Being responsible for yourself. Paying bills. Having to do the right thing instead of the fun thing. Having to be realistic instead of spontaneous. It's not what we thought it was.

I think this generation especially is especially burdened by this. It isn't like it used to be. College is almost necessary. And expensive. You don't just get married, move out, and live your life. You have to take care of yourself. The dating scene is insane. It just is a different era.

I know I can't be the only one who cries watching "Toy Story 3" The struggle is real. First world problem, I know. But it's a problem nonetheless. Figuring life out, while having so many other things to deal with and figure out, is HARD. It's a game of trial and error. Sometimes there is no right answer. You disappoint people along the way and realize you're the only person that can make you happy. You're the only person who knows everything that goes through your mind. You're the one that has to live with yourself. You learn to not care what people think- even though you sometimes slip and care. A lot. You question decisions and second guess yourself. You have amazing times with people who mean the world to you. And you have horrible times where you feel completely alone. When you take a breath, you realize you are lucky to have what you do. Your life isn't perfect. There are things  you wish were different. But it's your life. So you embrace it and do the best you can with it. You realize nobody ever really has their "shit together". We all just do the best with what we have. You learn your parents aren't perfect and struggle with some of the same things. You learn they're human. But you still know they have answers you do not and you constantly learn from them. You want to use your experience to help others not make mistakes and it drives you crazy when they don't listen. Everyone wants to figure out things on their own. And at the end of the day, that's exactly what I'm doing.